Gawd, I'm a sick libidinous monster. But I can't just be normal about it; I'm not the girl I used to be. I'm Jekyll and Hyde. Or, rather, Julia and Drunk Julia. Sober Julia doesn't want anyone to even get near her. Give me a drink, I turn into a monster. A fucking veritable rapist. Calling exes I don't even speak to in the middle of the night. Sick. Every morning after the coast guard doesn't answer his phone, I thank my lucky stars that he ignores my calls. He is mighty irritating in the mornings. But, I suppose everyone is irritating to me in the mornings.
Anyway, so, Will's new apartment is really nice. The neighborhood, he acknowledges, is too good for him. I've been diligently offending his new roommates. At our house, we are making little to no effort to look for a new victim. We have this deluded idea that we're going to make the upstairs room into some fancy little guest room with a futon and a TV. Oooooh, maybe we'll get a pair of bedside tables with cute little lamps and fucking doilies! Or, how about just getting a roommate, you maniac? Do you need to be reminded that you don't have a job, which would thus make it a bit difficult to have a 50% increase in rent? Yeah. Get a grip.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch:
The Playstation
Random Gentle Sex Master (RGSMf)
Easy to turn on. Hard to beat. You are The Playstation.
You're a nice girl, and you have lots of sex. It's therefore highly likely that you're attractive, and you're certainly outgoing & friendly. Plus, this healthy physical attitude of yours indicates deeper emotional well-being and stability. Unheard of. When guys dare to dream, they dream of you. You don't get attached too easily, and, to wit, you're not necessarily looking for something long-term right now. That's a bigger asset than you know. Though, physically speaking, you're open to anything, you're keeping your emotional side well-protected. This means there won't be a lot of wreckage to clean up whenever you decide to settle down.
In the meantime, the men you share yourself with actually respect you. Like them, you enjoy sex for its own sake and don't need any other validation for pleasure than pleasure itself. Hopefully, you have the good sense to blow off anyone who thinks less of you for that. Usually, this is the part of the description where we offer some life-correcting advice, but honestly, we can't think of anything about you we'd change. Keep on fucking, partner.
ALWAYS AVOID: The Mixed Messenger
CONSIDER: Anyone else
So good.
No comments:
Post a Comment