I've been more grossed out by sick people nowadays than ever before in my life. Mucus has never really fazed me, but suddenly in this cold season, every snot bubble I hear lingering in someone's throat makes me want to yak. Unfair, since I was just sick a couple of weeks ago and didn't quarantine myself, so it's probably MY cold that these poor folks have. I suppose I only have myself to blame for all the mucus in my midst.
Being surrounded by people with communication, uh, issues has made me totally doubt my own sentence-composing skills. At work, I find that I am constantly having to rephrase in order to get my point across or get the information I'm seeking, and this second-guessery has totally made me phrase things in weird ways in the rest of my life. And it has filled me with self-doubt too. (Ha, I almost wrote self-dough! Mmmm, dough.) Coherence was a skill that I never doubted before, and if I don't have that, what do I have?
This is not helped by the fact that I told a couple of my nearest and dearest that my New Year's resolution is to be less of a bitch, and they were like, "Praise be to Allah!" See, I still have feelings left inside, because that reaction hurt them. Wah!
Xmas was hella nice, but several days with G-ma (in conjunction with all the work days with the nun [insert obligatory ripping-hair-out gesture here]) are painting a tragic picture of the aging process in my mind. G-ma fell asleep twice on Xmas eve, and a couple of times on Xmas. My mom says G-ma's been wondering a lot about what it's like to be dead, and I've noticed that the things she says most often are "I don't know" and "Don't tell anyone". It's strange to me that she's the last grandparent standing, since she was the first one in my lifetime to have a big, scary medical calamity. I hope I got some of her tough, tough genes.
I'm really trying to end this on a positive note, it being my first post in a month and the first post of the brand spanking New Year. Hm...the days are getting longer and that is wonderful! And I just got Dreamweaver at work which is exciting! And The Guster isn't barfing everywhere anymore! And I'm seriously stoked about getting to be an MOH in the fall! And I get to play in a bouncy castle next month! There's a lot of good goin' on...it's just hard to be optimistic when it's so damn freezing.
Oh, and ha ha, in a bout of self-loathing at Barnes'n'Nob' yesterday, I picked up a copy of "Skinny Bitch" and was totally like, "Yeah, these bitches are right, I should give up caffeine, booze and refined sugars." But today I was reading some reviews of the book and discovered that the part of it that I didn't get to was the whole hard-core vegan part. Which I totally don't have a problem with, of course, but what an odd way to package it. Right? I'm going to stick with a combo of animal blood and the elliptical machine. Until my liberal guilt gets the best of me.
No comments:
Post a Comment