Bullshience

Well, I'm up past my bedtime, as per usual, and totally not studying. I'm feeling OK about the two tests I have tomorrow, despite my royal defeat last week. First two tests in nursing school: C's. Yeah. I mean, I know exactly why this happened. I was goofing off for the entire week prior because I had a boy staying at my house who had all sorts of fun things to do. I rarely get out of the house other than for school, so it was hard to say no. And, you know, he's a boy, and I'm a sucker. He cooked for me and acted all sweet! How am I supposed to handle that??

So I didn't study enough. Simple equation. I realized, though, that I've never really had to study for anything, so I kind of don't know how. I skated my way through high school, and bullshitted my way through college, and now suddenly I'm learning stuff that is challenging AND that I will actually have to put to use and I'm like, "Shit. I don't know how to do this."

I mean, I do. I was studying for pharmacology last week, and basically just typed up a summary of each type of drug that I was supposed to know for the test. That worked well...except that I got distracted about halfway though and started dicking around on the internet. Just like now. Yep.

It's strange, because I really find most of this stuff fascinating. The workings of the human body are just totally insane! My friend came over today (to bring me a full length mirror which is TOTALLY exciting!!), and he's apparently a little squeamish, because he was totally grossed out by my Physical Assessment book. I got all worked up explaining to him about arteries, veins and capillary beds, that veins are dependent on skeletal muscle for getting blood back up to your heart, the way your heart pumps blood through your body AND that the sinoatrial node is so effing cool!! And yet I have such a hard time just buckling down with the books. I was also talking to my friend about this studying issue, and he opined that when you make a big change in your life path, the ability to change your habits so you can achieve your goals is infinite. Or something like that. So I'm going to stick to that theory and just change myself into the kind of person who knows how to get shit done academically. BOO YAH.

Oh, and this isn't on omgnyc because a) I don't want my mom to know I'm such a bad student because I'm an approval-obsessed tween, apparently, and b) I refuse to talk about boys over there. Boys stay here.