On Friday night, I somehow ended up making out with this boy in a bar who must have been about 21. He walked up to me and said, "Hi, I'm Ben, you wanna make out?" I was just bored enough to say, "Eh....I guess." He was a bad kisser, and I remember trying to coach him by saying things like, "Just chiiiill." Apparently I decided that giving him my number would be the best way out of the situation. So today, I received the most epic text ever, in 6 parts. It is reproduced below for your reading pleasure.
"Hi. In case you didn't add me to your phone, this is Ben from Friday night. You said I should call you Tuesday evening, but I don't think that's a good idea. Not because you aren't attractive - you definitely are, and the kisses were wonderful too - thank you for that. But to be honest I wasn't looking for or expecting a date from that encounter. And since I don't know anything about you, or you me, there's nothing to suggest our personalities would click. So i just wanted to explain to you why i don't intend to call and set up a date - not because I'm a flake and not because of you, just because I think it would be awkward given the context that we met in."
I responded:
"Wow, I've never gotten a 6 part text before. I totally didn't remember asking you to call, but that's very nice of you to issue an apology."
I have a feeling he wasn't amused.
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