so i found thomas w. on myspace today, and i've been staring at his page obsessively, trying to construct the perfect message to send to him in my head. something about the rapevan and making out. or cleverness. we're not talking about ward here, by the way. this is the one from the lingerie party. mmm.
and this is funny: so i left the pre-school teacher's house at about 3:30 in the morning last night (doesn't that sound weird when you write it down? "morning last night?") because i couldn't sleep. he kept shaking his head around. i'm sure it has something to do with his stupid hair. so he called me today on his lunchbreak to see how i was holding up at work. um? why am i totally the guy here? and of course, all this is after my roommates and russian surrogate roommate-ette convinced me not to go there at all, and i spent the evening venting my, ahem, frustration with some knitting, and then got up at 12:30 to go over anyway. what has become of me??
i'm just too lazy to find some other booty call, and too jaded for emotional attachment, and here it's clear that there won't be any. we've already been there, done that. so i'll just keep pining away for vegan lunch date, broody thomas w., the absurdly attractive platonic male friend. ah, one-sided romantic entanglements...
i keep telling everyone that i don't believe in love anymore. my thing now is to say that it's nothing more than good rapport mixed with sexual attraction. i also said i was dead inside the other day, and d accused me of stealing her line. i'm not dead! i relearned how to knit yesterday!! i'm still creating, however trivially! and i still believe in stuff! i spent about half my lunchbreak talking to my mom about volunteering at the free clinic and how important it is to me.
oh jeez, what if they don't pick me?? pfft, how could they not?
8 comments:
Julia, you sound like a sad sad girl. And that makes me sad. Booty-calls are not a zero-sum gain, my dear. As someone who has gone years without sex, I can tell you from experience that it's not only doable, it's not even necessarily rueable. I'm so clever. And annonymous.
Hi. I'm Thomas W! I actually don't have a last name. It's just "W." (The period is not part of my last name.) I hope that's all cool! I hope you'll like me for who I am! A friend from Singapore who reads this obsessively told me about this post. Are you hot?
Dear sex-starved or previously so,
You are not "annonymous." You are, however, a poor speller. Also, you surely meant "zero-sum game" instead of "zero-sum gain" as the latter makes zero sense.
Next question?
wow, a feud between anonymous commentators! identify yourselves, mofos. and thanks for your comments :)
p.s. to thomas w: i know the last name of the thomas i'm talking about. i met the guy in person. and duh, of course i'm hot!
p.p.s. to antagonizing commentator: surely you meant "former" and not "latter," as you seem to be suggesting that your phrase, listed first and thus being the former, is the correct one.
but hey, as if i ever proofread my own shit. i forget, i guess, that people actually read this.
Thank you for your concern, julia, but I truly meant "latter." Please reread my post.
Next comment?
that's funny, until just this very second, i was reading the word "zero" as "more." in my defense, it does have 3 of the same letters. and i guess i read the "z" sideways. but yo, who is this?
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