Did anyone notice....

...that I put a FUCKING HYPHEN in goldfish? Gold-fish?? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME??

OK, I'm OK now.

I can see how Walnut Creek must have been really beautiful. There are all these really lovely green hills, and that mountain. But fuck, it sure does suck now. And I have been offered a "lateral transfer" to the San Francisco office in the hip, hip Embarcadero (I could, like, shop at Banana every day!!), and I have opted not to accept. This was offered to me as a consolation prize after not being offered either one of the jobs I interviewed for. Here, I rule the roost. There, I would just be another fucking front desk person to push around. (Once when I was working there, one of the judges handed me an entire banker's box full of papers and said, "Now, I need you to hole-punch these, and then put them in order of exhibit number. Can you do that for me?" It's much better with me imitating his vaguely Jimmy Stewart-esque/Harley domino voice.) So, I'm staying in fucking Walnut Creek so I can save my money going to Target instead of Banana Republic on my lunchbreak, and I've decided that since it's been a year, I may now truly begin the search for a new job.

I keep having pregnancy dreams. This is surely a sign of great change in my life (not a sign that I want to get knocked up!). Last night's dream was especially creepy. I was pregnant, but I kept drinking beer anyway, thinking it wasn't a big deal until I saw little hands and feet poking out from the inside of my belly. Then I thought, "Wait, isn't beer bad for unborn babies?" Does this mean that I am drowning my potential in drink? Last night I was definitely drinking and getting stoned when I should have been diligently sending out resumes and coming up with writing samples. Writing samples?? Um, do blog entries count?

Oh, and I'm supposed to name-drop Kat Malinowska. I liked how Tag abbreved her name to Kat. Malin. I always go for Malinowsk' myself, because it's such a dumb abbrev. You're really only saving yourself one letter and one syllable, and, in the process, making the lovely Polska's name that much more difficult to say. Maybe that's why I like it. I also want to name-drop Palatucc' here, because I just reread his comment about the anonymous commentator who got all upset about my supposed "pandering" to Tag, and I really like it. Go read it. Fuck, while I'm at it, I'm going to name-drop one Mr. Randall Wat because, hey, guess who's coming to visit? Hopefully he'll make his way over to 38th St. when he finds out that Jen Heller lives on our floor. And I know how he loves Rosalie.

Oh, also Randy: I think Tag's head-giving song for me was Young Americans by David Bowie. Don't you wish that fucker would archive his site better? How am I supposed to revisit that Adina's-peach-flavored-breast-milk thing? (Without googling Miss Ringler, I mean.) Or Julie's Ass section? I liked when Ass was there to sort of counteract Shame. Well, Tag?