Huzzah! The nun has abandoned me all day to go to the horse races! Seems like a very un-nunlike activity (I mean, like, isn't gambling a sin or something?), but whatevs! It means FREEDOM!
Dudes, so I took that sick day on Monday, and now I can't stop sneezing. At least it gives me some cred, but gawd, shut up already with that sneezing, me! Seriously.
Shit, the weather be hella freezing lately! And often my house is colder than the outside world! Dealbreaker said that my house felt like a Massachussetts house, and suggested that I plastic wrap the windows. When I was in upstate New York in May, Sammy and Jenny were in the process of un-saraning their windows, and that was the first time I had ever even heard of anyone doing such a thing. But I may have to look into it, since the Open Flame in the Floor is an extremely inefficient way of heating the house. Setting the couch on fire wouldn't probably work much better.
I had this very stupid incident two Saturdays ago where I was trying to vacuum my house with Jen's vacuum, and the normal carpet part of the thing was totes not working. So, I was forced to use a variety of small and impractical attachments. Every time I tried to use one of the attachments, the vacuum would fall over. Idiot that I am, it took three times of the vacuum falling on me before I was like, "Duh, I should just lay the vacuum on the floor!" (Not that this is a particularly genius idea either, but whatev, at least it wouldn't fall on me anymore!) Sadly, the time that the vacuum fell on my ankle and created a huge, gnarly gash was only the second time it fell on me. The thing took forever to even scab over, and now it's this nasty scab and it hurts! Wah!!
Also, y'all, I was all stoked about Brit-Brit's divorce, and I was even into her taking Vegas by storm with Paris! But all these Lohany crotch shots and totally partied-out pics lately? Um, girl, don't you have some kids at home? And with K-Fed looking sort of like a normal human, things do not look good for you.
Wait, yeah, I don't care about that stuff. Um, right? I totally don't spend every moment I possibly can reading Perez when the nun's not looking. I went book shopping last night, people. Book shopping! Because I read, OK? I bought The Corrections...because I saw it on the Simpsons! (Gawd, who are the neeeeeerds who update Wikipedia constantly, anyway?) I also bought some more Hemingway, since I've been all into that dude lately. (Even though Islands in the Stream nearly destroyed my soul.) I'm still only like a hundred pages into Henderson the Rain King, which is pretty lame. I keep thinking that Big Foot is going to make an appearance, but nothing so far. Ha ha! I make bad movie joke! Me funny!
And finally, I must share that I'm totally displeased with my hair. I've reached that stage with it where I just wear it up all the time, thus signifying that I totes need to be styled real soon. You know, just FYI.
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