the scurrying of white pointy boots

That was the sound I heard behind me as I walked to work from BART this morning. My own black un-pointy square-toed boots have soft rubber soles that make nary a sound on the parking lot pavement. The girl was alternating her scurrying with normal-to-fast-paced walking, so it sounded very strange.

I have been so sleep-deprived and caffeinated for the past few days that I have gone into babble mode. Come near me and prepare to have your ear talked off. I did this to Zach when he got home last night at 12:30. I did this just now to my coworker, who backed slowly towards the door. However, I am no match for Crazy Maggie. She called me four times (including Monday night at midnight, and about 10am yesterday when, duh, I was at work) before I called her back. She talked NONSTOP FOR TWENTY MINUTES. I'm not exaggerating. It was incredible. But then, I tell people about this conversation in the form of long-winded babble. The pot calling the kettle black, as it were. I know I'm doing it, but I just can't stop.

It makes me kind of sad when people call the number at my office thinking it's someplace else, and I have to break it to them that they've called the wrong number. It makes me especially sad when the person on the other end of the phone only speaks Spanish, and doesn't understand when I tell them that they haven't called DirecTV. One woman called thinking she'd called DirecTV, and when she determined that I didn't speak any Spanish, she put her young son on the phone, who said, "Uh, my mom doesn't want the channels that have, uh, porno on them."

And an anonymous commentator is dying for a party recap: it was fun. The end.

Haha, just kidding. The was Extreme Makeout: Home Edition going on on the stairs and then in the teeny closet under them by two people with remarkably similar last names. I just realized that today. They're only one letter different. They should get married and hyphenate. We have plenty of pictures that we could display at the wedding.

Let's see, D is demanding gossip....I don't know, man, there wasn't much. A certain Polska vomitted on a certain vegan, and somehow this only served to fuel his infatuation. She also vomitted on Zach's bed, and on the stairs, and in the bathroom (splatter style), where we found her passed out on the floor at one point. There were all these people standing outside the locked bathroom door, saying, "We think someone's dead in there." Somehow they picked the lock, and found the Polska on the tile. She looked so lovely, I thought she was faking it. It was uncanny.

I had an unfortunate experience with one of those fucking Russians, which left me feeling super weirded out and depressed. Totally made me never want to talk to him again. It's always when I start to like him again that he turns around and reveals his true assholish nature. The other fucking Russian somehow managed, once again, to stay at our house until around 1pm the next day. His routine has been to sit around on our couch while the rest of us clean, demanding that we bring him things. When we tell him "fuck no," he replies with, "I'm a guest!" Because, apparently, a guest is a person who passes out in your bed before you get home and/or crawls into your bed in the middle of the night when he has a perfectly good futon to sleep on. What a pleasant fellow.

Simran tried to orchestrate many a make-out in her drunken, haphazard way. That was pretty funny. There was a lot of big exaggerate winking going on.

And one pair kept going in my room and locking the door, and when I demanded entry (huh huh), they claimed to be "just talking." Pfft!!

And there were so many funny beards and sweater vests. And someone (whose name starts with a Davey and ends with a Dave) spilled almost a whole bottle of wine in the kitchen, where it splattered on the tile and wall. The astroturf did catch one drink. I wish we had more so we could make a whole minigolf course.

And Tag and D make me an INCREDIBLE mix. Wow. And Lex's Guilty Megamix was genius! I couldn't believe people were complaining about Get Your Toxic Freak On! Fools!! The CD from Matty B. was actually really lovely. I can't wait to be all "Dude, I totally saw the Unicorns in Seattle, like 3 months ago!" Ha!

And Davey left his wallet in the couch. And Katie left her shoe (just one). And Charlie left his hat. So did Yasha. And no one took the goddamned Lite Brite!! And there are these bizarre pictures of Eli kissing Gabe on the cheek and then sitting on Lex's lap. Oh, Lex was such an awesome party foul ref! And my mom's huge baby picture of me was such a hit! Ha ha! And Pancakes, we think your coworker is dreamy! Oh yeah, and I called Vic a dreamboat, and he replied, "Well, I am a boat of dreams."

Did I miss any dirt?