many small paragraphs

I'm supposed to be getting on a plane after work. My shit is so not together.

I think Tom and I are already annoyed with each other, and I haven't even seen him yet. I wrote him this email with a suggestion of something to do in Seattle, and all he wrote back was one word: "possibly." Is it so much to expect a complete sentence?

Eli and Alexis both called me yesterday and I haven't called them back because I'm a big asshole. Actually, it was because they both called me when I was en route to Juan's (JuliaandRosalie + Burritos 4eva!), and then as soon as Ro and I got home, we got back in the absurdly large Yukon she's borrowing from her boss to go help Erica move. Thanks to the Yukon and BA DONAR combo, we did it all in one trip...even the futon!

D and Erica and Yea Ming's new place is raaaaad. I love their kitchen. And all the windows in Yea Ming's room. And her huge closet. And the shower in Erica's room (because she's the mom, she gets the master bedroom). And the little Mexican in Daniella's room.

After helping in the shortest move EVER (less than an hour!) we came home, got stoned, watched ALF and New York Minute. Rosalie missed the plethora of twin-sisters-bonding moments towards the end (oh shit, I gave away the movie!) and I...didn't pack my stuff for today. It's kind of in a pile on my bed, and I keep writing little notes to myself about stuff I should remember to bring or purchase.

I get this empty feeling in the back of my throat and the pit of my stomache, almost like I'm hungry or thirsty, but it's not either of those. It makes me think of The Sound of Settling. Very cliche. But I've been getting the feeling for a long time, for years. Perhaps it's a hunger for some direction, ambition, goal; a desire for desire. It gets worse all the time, as I get older, as I get further away from that defining structure of the first 21 years of my life.

So Eric and I are now both coming back from our respective journeys on Monday. This will be interesting to jump back into. Do we pick up where we left off? Do we start all over again? Or do we just go to a concert every single weekend he's here, where the noise level will be so great that all we'll be able to do is get drunk and make goo-goo eyes at each other? Hopefully Drunk Julia will not try to wrestle him again; I still have scars on my back from falling on those Budweiser boxes.

I talked to Rose for an hour and a half on Tuesday and it made me SO HAPPY. It was bittersweet to find out that she's not going to film school in Vancouver after all; I'm really glad she's staying around here, but I also think she's a creative genius and that she should cultivate her obvious aptitude for creating the beautiful and amazing.

And Sammy, he's leaving for Scotland on Tuesday, so he'll be packing up his life while I'm staying with him. He doesn't want to go to the Space Needle. It's not like I asked to go to the first ever Starbucks, is it? Gawd.