Only this time I want to stab this tape player...I HATE doing transcriptions full of legal jargon. And I'm so perplexed by the lawyers being unduly confused by the coffee machine. I mean, it shows you a fucking animated picture of exactly what you're supposed to do. Maybe there are too many options...the "cappuccino" option requires you to put in two different packets. The machine says "Insert creamy topping, packet 1 of 2." How much more clear could this be? And yet, the lawyers either a) insert the coffee packet first, refusing to believe that the topping should go on the bottom, or b) insert both packets at once, when they clearly don't both fit into the machine. Perhaps they are trying to be more efficient, but you know, just listen to the machine, people. ALL IT KNOWS HOW TO DO IS MAKE COFFEE. IT KNOWS WHAT IT'S DOING. It shows you what to do with a combination of words and pictures! Seriously! In case you can't read, it SHOWS you what to do! Our Flavia rental rep guy called a couple weeks ago to see how the new machine was working out, and I told him about this phenomenon of the lawyers inserting both packets at once, and he was like, "Are you kidding me? I've never heard that. Don't you work with lawyers?" My theory is that they think far too much about the simple process of inserting packets. "How could the topping go in first?" they wonder. "Why should I insert the packets one after another when I could insert them both at once and save time?" Wow. But I kind of love it when they do that because a) I get to talk shit about stupid lawyers later and b) I looooooooove fixing the machine. This is why I aspire to be the hot chick mechanic; I totally get off on fixing stuff, especially for people who assume they are smarter and more adept than I am. Paper jams in the copier? Send 'em my way. Phone that needs rewiring? I'm your girl. These are the times I feel that I have purpose in my life.
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