Proxy

Caffeine makes me fidgety and orally fixated. I have to keep drinking water so I'll stop eating these salty salty cashews.

I see cars that look like Eric's everywhere. All different colors, but mostly red. Only 3 more weeks until I see his actual car.

I know too many ridiculously good looking people. It's incredible going out and seeing so many of them gathered in one place. You're all like totally beautiful, man....

The Stork Club, this girl who was playing the bass fantastically and singing and was basically the cutest thing ever? Hate her.

Yea Ming, I'm totally sorry that I missed most of your set, but the two songs I stayed for were absolutely lovely. Nicky P., Readyville makes me remember that you're totally not dead inside like you say you are. Eoin, jeez, I always expect him to be cranky and mean, based on one game of Pictionary, but he was totally lovely last night. I was on the defense, and I had to tone down my pre-emptive bitchiness. Oh, and I'm sorry Amanda and I so stealthily slipped out, saying goodbye only to D. But I still didn't get enough sleep, hence the observation about my fidgetiness.

Shocker of the week: it seems that Antares doesn't think I'm insane. If he does think so, he's very polite about hiding it. I feel like every time I talk to him I have to prove that I'm not a headcase...inevitably I say something stupid every time. But it's OK; I figure, he's seen me at my absolute worst, completely out of character moment (maybe second worst), so really, his opinion of me can only be raised. (And haha, the spellchecker's first suggestion for his name is "anthrax.") Besides, character flaws are like, totally endearing...right?

And wow, it's funny how arbitrarily people do or don't remember other people. This girl, I've met her a million times over the past few years, even once about a month ago we re-met and talked about people we knew in common and where we've met. Amanda asked her last night if she knew me, and she said, "No...I don't think so." It was totally a Tom D'no moment. Lately I've been better/less embarrassed about being like, "Yeah, we've met." Last night I made sort of a joke of it, saying I was sure we'd met by proxy.

And then there are those people who remember you after the first time you meet, and greet you by name every time thereafter. I like those people.

And THEN there are those people who you met at UC extension orientation 5 years ago, remembered you from somewhere you didn't remember them from (namely a party where you were busy being a superdrunk 17-year-old party girl), but then years later don't remember where they remember you from (and think they know you from somewhere else entirely (and they really do know you from this second place)) and have to have the connection explained to them like it's completely new information.

You know how it is.